You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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