So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
