i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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