shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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