He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
