well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
