I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
