I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i've created a new STD.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
