So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
