there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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