I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
