I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
