oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
