Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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