Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
