I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
