whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
