I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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