Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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