She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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