Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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