I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
