Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
