I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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