dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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