that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
