talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
