Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
