Someone shit on the floor
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
