she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
