Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
