I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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