I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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