I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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