thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got inside last night via doggy door
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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