Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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