Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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