I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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