Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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