I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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