so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
