I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
