Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
