Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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