Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
