I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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