I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
