My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
