As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
