Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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