She said her name was "party"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
