I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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