Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
